Joanne Lindsay Counselling , Hypnotherapy and Holistic Therapy Service Based in Taunton, Somerset

​So, as always when I stop for a bit to take a breath, it usually results in me having a good old think about how the year has gone, and what direction I might go in next.

So, I thought I'd let you in on what's been happening through 2017, and hopefully what is going to happen through 2018.

2017 started off a bit slower than normal in business terms for me and by the sounds of it several of my counselling/therapy colleagues experienced the same - but if you know me at all, you know I'm not one for sitting still long (Unless in a counselling session of course lol). So I decided to work on a couple of projects that had either been shelved temporarily or were still just in a dream phase.

In March 2017, after looking for a few year, I committed to selling a product alongside my business that I felt would compliment my business ethos of well-being. So if I haven't chewed your ear off about them already, they are the wonderful Aloe Vera based products from Forever Living (Look out for lots of deals as this company celebrates their 40th Anniversary in 2018)

So why did I decide to add these products I hear you ask? Well there is such a wide range that help people think about their well-being including;

• Personal Care
• Weight Management
• Essential Oils
• Nutritional Supplements
• Make up

Also, the products last an amazingly long time because they are such good quality and so much thought is put into their production and the process of the ingredients. Yes you might look at the prices and go gulp!, but once you've tried these products, you'll see they are definitely value for that money.

If you are interested in finding out more, or even looking for a home business for yourself - please do contact me for more information (I'll never be a hard sales person, so don't worry about that)

Since the summer, I have also been getting out and about attending fetes and fairs spreading the word of well-being. I have taken along my forever living products, Bach Flower remedies and lots of other well-being focused products. Over the last couple of years I qualified in Indian Head Massage and Seated Acupressure massage, so when I have my 2 little helpers in tow (My sons) I have also been offering mini taster treatments for these as well as Reiki.

​All in all it's been a really fun summer, meeting loads of lovely people. And 2018 we will going to work at our 1st ever full festival - I'm so excited!!

In 2017, I also found two wonderful counsellors to volunteer and help get a project off the ground that has been in the pipeline for quite a while.

​Bellis Daisy

​When I first set up my business in 2011, I had struggled for a few years as a single mum on benefits whilst trying to study to provide a better future for myself and my sons - in that time a lot of life changes had happened and a large amount of emotional stress had been experienced. The one thing I would of loved to have had was some counselling and objective support, but I couldn't justify the expense. 

In 2013 as part of my business, this is why I set up the On Your Mind self help coffee morning, I can't believe we've been going 5 years this year and it's still something I look forward to every Wednesday morning. But at the same time, I wanted to help more.

I would love to be able to do counselling for free, and always try to accommodate people and keep my fee's as low as I can - but we all know; we can't live on fresh air, well at least myself and my son's can't and like any business there are a lot of overheads to consider.

When a counsellor is doing any significant training, they have to complete hours as evidence for their portfolio, finding placements to do these hours at is hard, so I thought - why not kill 2 birds with one stone as they say!

So the fantastic Temple Methodist church where I rent my room, let me furnish another room and set up a cost price service from it.

So what does this mean? well spread the word!!! If you know of  people who would love to have counselling, but they are being forced to wait on long waiting lists or don't meet the talking therapies threshold and they are struggling away on benefits, low income, single parents etc - then pass the word on - tell them to contact me on 07899 048256

As usual, I'm always studying in the background, and my focus lately has been to expand my knowledge around Essential Oils. I use them personally in my everyday life and find them invaluable - So my aim is to spread the word alongside my Well-being quest. I want to be able to advise people of the different oils that can help them from a professional perspective and be able to incorporate their use in the holistic side of my private practice (Reiki, Indian Head massage etc).

And some of you will know, I've taken on my biggest project ever - 'Syliva' the Transit Van!! at the moment she is still looking more like the plumbers van that she once was, however, my son's and I are on a mission to turn her in to a mobile therapy room / Campervan, so that she can come on our exciting travels to these festival and fetes...

So, as usual 2018 plans to be another busy and eventful year - so keep it focused and positive folks - make it the best one yet, even if life keeps throwing curve balls at you. 

So day 3 (Friday), yum yum I got to eat a meal...

Again it's not been too hard, I hardly touched the free food I could munch throughout the day at all, as I was allowed 2 shakes today one for breakfast and one for lunch.

I've been busy in the garden today and didn't feel the need to take many breaks - I actually feel quite energetic, which I thought I wouldn't be after 3 days of hardly any food.

So today's in take;

Breakfast - Garcinia tablets, 120ml Aloe Gel, forever therm and a plain vanilla shake.

Mid -morning - Fibre sachet in water.

Lunch - Garcinia tablets, Vanilla Shake with 192grams Blueberries and handful of Spinach and the forever Therm tablet

Tea - Garcinia tablets and my meal which was a bit of a medley throw together to be honest - but included 2 flat mushrooms, Brown rice, Spinach, some red onion, sweetcorn, vegetable stock, Quorn pieces, Tomato Puree and some mushy peas on the side - it came in at 571 calories - nothing special to look at - but it tasted extremely yummy...and I couldn't eat it all...

To find out more visit; www.joanneswellbeingshop.co.uk or find my page on facebook Joanne's Well-being Shop or contact me directly below. 

​

Day 2 (Thursday) - so much easier than day 1, even getting used to the amount of gel.

Same principal as yesterday - but looking forward to being able to introduce a 600 calorie meal tomorrow!

Free food I munched on today were;
In my shake I had 130gms of raspberries and some spinach and then I picked at 14 sugar snap pea pods, celery, cucumber and a pepper today.

I didn't find myself going for as much of a wee today, but still more than normal.

I even managed to avoid the homemade lime and coconut cake, pretzels and chocolate biscuits floating around the office today - I feel very proud of myself!

I ended the day with a bit of a headache, but I had had 2 long days in a row, so can't quite put it down to anything to do with the C9  - looking forward to a 4 day weekend now!

This program also encourages you to increase your exercise, so on day one and two I have split my 30 minutes exercise up in to 2 x 15 minutes of quick walking, just to fit it in with my busy days - over the next few days I have lots of gardening and DIY to be flexing my muscles at. 

​Roll on day 3!!

Boo Hoo, So I've been having technical difficulties and it wiped all my previous blog from Wednesday - So I'll try and remember what I wrote.

So Day 1 - I purposely chose a couple of busy days to do the day 1 & 2 of this program on, as they are said to be the hardest. I'm quite a foodie and therefore thought if I was busy I'd not mind so much that I wasn't going to be eating as much.

The first 2 days are classed as reset days for your digestion - so here is what I had to do.

Morning 2 x garcinia tablets, a forever Therm tablet and some free food. 120ml of Aloe gel and lots of water...
mid morning - fibre sachet dissolved in water
Lunch, 2 x garcinia tablets, a forever Therm tablet, 120ml Aloe Vera, an Ultra light shake which I used some of my free food to bulk out (8 strawberries and some spinach) and lots more water.
Dinner 2 x Garcinia tablets, 120ml Aloe vera Gel, some more water
bedtime 120ml of Aloe Gel and water

the free foods i munched on throughout the day to curb hunger was;
spinach, lettuce, a tomato, a pepper, cucumber and celery (plus what went in the shake)

So was I hungry? Not as bad as I thought I was going to be. The church where I rent my room have a lunch on a Wednesday, that normally smells lovely - but it has never smelt so good as Wednesday...I found myself with different tastes in my mouth like I was craving, however I'm very aware it's part of that 'I can't have it so I want it stuff!', so i just munched on my free foods and kept my self distracted.

Side effects - too much information I know, but I wee'd for Britain!! I guess it was my body geeting rid of all of it's toxins and stuff.

How I felt? A bit fed up of the Aloe gel, but I know that day 3 that becomes less and it's doing my insides the world of good, plus it helped curb some of the hunger.

All in all not a bad day and took myself off to bed with an aloe blossom tea...

​

So, those who know me and or have used my services know that I'm very passionate about well-being and after a few years of looking, I've found a product I really believe gives so many people health, well-being and most of all hope - and therefore made the decision to add it to my range.

So, Forever Living...who are they?

- They are a company who have been going for almost 40 years.

- They are Aloe Vera based and own over 60% of the worlds Aloe.

- They are so confident about their products that they offer a 60 day money back guarantee (how many other companies do you know who offer that!?)

- They have head offices in over 150 different countries

Forever’s product range includes: • Health and nutrition • Weight management • Sports and fitness • Personal care • Skincare and beauty • Animal and home

So anyway, as I've been getting to know these products myself I can honestly say I will never go back to shop bought toothpaste, shampoo/conditioner and deodorant again - why? because I just feel so so clean and healthy!

In amongst this getting to the know the products, I decided to find out about their 9 day Cleanse program as I'd heard about it a few years ago and kept seeing people post their pictures on social media, but mostly a couple of friends had said how it had helped them.

So the Clean 9 what does it involve - well follow my journey day by day and I'll let you know...

(to look at the products I'm selling please visit my Well-being Shop)

With Halloween fast approaching the costumes are bought and the various parties are marked in my diary, but it has got me thinking about not just the holiday ghosts and ghouls, but the fears and terrors that people live with every day.

I have worked as a counsellor for a few years now and it never surprises me when even if I've been working with a client for sometime; that suddenly another story can unfold.

People shut and put up with so many things in their lives for many reasons including; in order to not upset the family home, because they can't see any other way out, because they don't deserve anything different - whatever the reason whilst they stay in their situation, they are internally being chewed up by their emotions and their thoughts surrounding the situation. 

Take a look around you, look at your friends, family and Joe Blogg in the street - do they look truly happy - maybe?...

Nobody can truly know how another person is feeling and many people can put that brave face on and continue day to day as if nothing is happening. Until it rears it's ugly head in another way - ANGER, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, OCD, RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS, ADDICTION, LACK OF CONFIDENCE, LOSS OF DIRECTION and the list can continue.....

So what could be going on behind the scenes?? there are a huge variety of possible scenarios; but the following information has not only shocking statistics to show people can suffer a longtime in silence, but that it has huge costs on our government because of the repeated nature of the offences. 


Child Sexual Abuse

This year has seen a number of historic Child Sexual Abuse cases brought to justice, where some of the people involved have lived with that fear, guilt and shame for 30 or 40 years or more and never told a soul. 

I think about how brave those for want of a better word 'victims' must have been to put themselves in that spotlight after so much time only for many to judge whether they are telling the truth or not.

Some facts and figures about Child Sexual Abuse;

The NSPCC have published a number of statistics;

• Over 18,600 children and young people talked to ChildLine last year about sexual abuse.
• Child sexual abuse costs the UK £3.2bn a year.
• Over 90% of sexually abused children were abused by someone they knew.
  
• 1 in 20 children in the UK have been sexually abused.
• 1 in 3 children sexually abused by an adult did not tell anyone.
  

The silent killer - Domestic Abuse;

1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will be affected by domestic abuse at sometime in their life.

On average in the UK, two women are murdered each week and 30 men per year.

In addition, approximately 400 people commit suicide each year who have attended hospital for domestic abuse injuries in the previous six months, 200 of these attend hospital on the day they go on to commit suicide

Many see domestic abuse as a physical act of violence, this is not always the case, but can often become that way sooner or later. 

Abuse comes in many forms, from taking control of somebody else's finances... being constantly critical and putting someone down... controlling what they do, who they see and when... forcing your spouse or partner to perform sexual acts or to have sex against their will... 

more facts and figures; 

• It has been estimated that domestic abuse costs the public £23 billion per annum.  This includes the cost to the criminal justice system, to the health service, to social care and to housing.  It is widely accepted however that this figure is an under-estimate as there are so many costs that can not be measured.
• The Home Office estimates that each domestic abuse murder costs the country just over £1 million and totals £112 million per annum.

statistics gathered from www.lwa.org.uk

Rape

With reported rape and attempted rape in the uk on the increase (29% this last year) it is surprising how much of it still goes unreported. Again this can be from fear of being judged to be not telling the truth, horror stories of being told you encouraged it and because the act was never carried through with, there not being any evidence and so on...

For Women;
www.rapecrisis.org.uk reported that:

• Approximately 85,000 women are raped on average in England and Wales every year
• Over 400,000 women are sexually assaulted each year
• 1 in 5 women (aged 16 - 59) has experienced some form of sexual violence since the age of 16.

Whatever is hiding in your cupboard this Halloween, there are many resources for help out there. 

For a free confidential chat to find out more about how I might be able to help you or to find out about other organisations that maybe able to help you.

If you feel ready to change the way you approach life, then one place you can start is to change the way you talk to yourself. 

We can be our own worst critics and if you've been unfortunate enough to experience some criticism from those around you, it can often impact on how you see yourself. But, we can't change what other people think, say and do, however we can change what we think about ourselves and what we say, think and do....

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” ~Buddha

Remember an athlete didn't win a race by telling himself he can’t do it!

There is always research going on in the background about how we can improve our lives e.g the positive impact of exercise on depression, how positive meditation can help calm anxiety symptoms etc but I recently read a paper written by Barbara L fredrickson about positive thinking and its impact on your skills.

This research highlighted to me something I often see with clients; 
They would come into my service with very negative views of themselves and their abilities to 'cope' with life's challenges describing to me events that seemed massive and overwhelming 'my life just seems to be falling apart' has been a phrase I have often heard and the common critical inner dialogues - "mental chatter" as I often refer to it as; saying things like 'I'm rubbish', 'I never get it right', 'why do I bother?'.

But as these clients start to explore themselves and their situations and they engage in the therapeutic process something changes, they start to view themselves in a more positive light - changing that common critical thinking with statements such as; 'I'll give it ago', 'I can do this', '5 years ago I achieved this so I can now too', with this new perspective - that's when they seem to be out there 'coping' with the challenges that life throws at them, achieving little by little, building their self-esteem, confidence and living a much more productive happy life.

Often if you’re feeling low or unmotivated then it can be difficult to find something positive to say about yourself – so here are a few positive statements you can read and try to help start to lift your mood;

Take a few minutes on your own and read through the list below – make a mental note of the ones that you don’t feel confident saying yet and the ones that although they may feel uncomfortable, you can perhaps find some truth in them and notice if there are any that feel ok to say now.

Choose one or two statements and spend 5 minutes saying them over and over to yourself either in your head or (if you are on your own!) try saying them out loud. 

If you are confident in identifying your emotions and noticing the physical sensations that get provoked within your body when you experience an emotion then this is a great task to see how words alone can change these emotions and in turn how your thinking can play it's part in your day to day mood.

Maybe with practice you will be able to find some of your own positive statements to add to the list so that they will be more personal to you?

·         I am ok

·         I have achieved ….(this)……today

·         I am a caring person

·         I am a kind person

·         I can get things wrong just like anybody else, but it’s ok.

·         I don’t have to do everything on my list today

·         I can learn from my mistakes to improve my life

·         Does it really matter?

·         I can do this – I will do this

·         I can focus my mental energy on much more worthwhile challenges rather than worrying about the things I cannot change.

·         I may not feel naturally positive all of the time – but I am trying to be more positive!


It is often easier to see what is going wrong in our lives rather than appreciating what is going right, so if you are thinking about finding some of your own 'Positive Self Talk', then start small - what one thing can you say today was positive? Maybe it was the fact you got up and dressed and went to work today? Maybe your child told you they love you, maybe someone appreciated a meal you cooked for them, maybe someone said thank you as you held a door open for them? or maybe you were able to say one nice thing about yourself today.

Practical Tip;
Get a jar, money box or basket and every-time you do, experience or say something positive, write it down on a piece of paper and place it in your vessel. At the end of the week (you can chose your time frame) read your pieces of paper back to yourself and remind yourself of all the positive things that have taken place.

Everytime I learn a new skill, piece of theory or counselling intervention, I feel that the most important test of it is 'Can I apply it to me?'

I was asked by a client recently 'What training did I have to do to become a counsellor and what was it like doing that training?'

I explained that when I started training my mind set was 'I've been through some tough times, had some fantastic experiences, made some mistakes and had asked for help along the way - I want to learn how to help others overcome life obstacles'. Although I was prepared for 3 years of studying, placements and trying to remember how to put together and write an essay which I thought was going to be my biggest challenge (not my strongest skill!) nothing could have prepared me for 3 years of looking at myself, picking my own self apart and rebuilding 'me' - and then having to write about it in an essay!

But do I regret it? absolutely not!. I never stop looking at myself, learning about myself and trying to improve the way I interact with my friends, family, clients and the public. Trying to understand why I react to things the way I do sometimes, learning to let go of resentments and situations I cannot change; Am I perfect - no!! because as life develops new obstacles get put in my way, which for me is another opportunity to learn some more and adapt if necessary.

I had a conversation with a friend yesterday about how important it is to continually evaluate your life plan and adapt and change in order to keep moving forward - it's when I stop and only see the barriers and what I can't do; then I get stuck, feel heavy with emotions of failure, frustration and get angry at myself and my situation; then it feels harder to move forward. Yet if I accept that something needs to change and my life plan needs to be adapted I'm more likely to succeed in what ever I am trying to achieve at the time or perhaps make it even better than I had imagined.

So what have I changed and developed in me?

I've learn't to accept my inner child and nurture her and allow her to be upset and have developed some understanding around where that upset comes from.

I have accepted that at times I will feel anxious and that although it's a horrible feeling, it is the survival part of me and that those feelings will pass once the perceived threat has gone (Physical or emotional).

I have learnt to turn off or distract my 'mental chatter' allowing positive thoughts to outshine the negative ones.

I have found the beauty in the world...look around you...it's amazing what you have to be grateful for.

And I have learnt to be my own best friend!! accepted that I will not always get it right, but that life is about living and learning, it's not here to beat you up - but it will if you let it!

Do you get fed up of being attacked by Tupperware every time you open a kitchen cupboard or never being able to find your favourite top in your wardrobe?

With the nights drawing out and bulbs starting to pop up over my garden - I'm starting to get that spring feeling and making lists of what I'll attack on my yearly spring clean - but if I was to ask you what would you spring clean in your life - what would it be?

Although it's a tiresome task thinking about cleaning my cupboards out, organising them so I can find things easier and getting rid of all the tins and jars that have been lurking at the back and are now out of date - I know I'll feel much better for doing it. Yet the thought of spring cleaning my own life feels a little bit uncomfortable!

From the minute we are born (If not before?) we start to learn; We learn as a baby that by crying I'll get fed or my nappy will be changed - to learning if I act in certain ways I'll get rid of the emotions I don't like - "coping strategies".

These coping strategies work at first so we often repeat them the next time we are faced with that emotion or situation e.g. drinking, self-harming, avoiding, ignoring or getting Angry with those we love, but often they turn out to cause more trouble and start to create their own vicious cycles.

So what Cycles would you like to unlearn, spring clean in order to improve the outcomes in your life? What actions or behaviours would you like to change and learn new "coping strategies" for.

Hope you have a happy and positive Springtime x