If you feel ready to change the way you approach life, then one place you can start is to change the way you talk to yourself.
We can be our own worst critics and if you've been unfortunate enough to experience some criticism from those around you, it can often impact on how you see yourself. But, we can't change what other people think, say and do, however we can change what we think about ourselves and what we say, think and do....
“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” ~Buddha
Remember an athlete didn't win a race by telling himself he can’t do it!
There is always research going on in the background about how we can improve our lives e.g the positive impact of exercise on depression, how positive meditation can help calm anxiety symptoms etc but I recently read a paper written by Barbara L fredrickson about positive thinking and its impact on your skills.
This research highlighted to me something I often see with clients;
They would come into my service with very negative views of themselves and their abilities to 'cope' with life's challenges describing to me events that seemed massive and overwhelming 'my life just seems to be falling apart' has been a phrase I have often heard and the common critical inner dialogues - "mental chatter" as I often refer to it as; saying things like 'I'm rubbish', 'I never get it right', 'why do I bother?'.
But as these clients start to explore themselves and their situations and they engage in the therapeutic process something changes, they start to view themselves in a more positive light - changing that common critical thinking with statements such as; 'I'll give it ago', 'I can do this', '5 years ago I achieved this so I can now too', with this new perspective - that's when they seem to be out there 'coping' with the challenges that life throws at them, achieving little by little, building their self-esteem, confidence and living a much more productive happy life.
Often if you’re feeling low or unmotivated then it can be difficult to find something positive to say about yourself – so here are a few positive statements you can read and try to help start to lift your mood;
Take a few minutes on your own and read through the list below – make a mental note of the ones that you don’t feel confident saying yet and the ones that although they may feel uncomfortable, you can perhaps find some truth in them and notice if there are any that feel ok to say now.
Choose one or two statements and spend 5 minutes saying them over and over to yourself either in your head or (if you are on your own!) try saying them out loud.
If you are confident in identifying your emotions and noticing the physical sensations that get provoked within your body when you experience an emotion then this is a great task to see how words alone can change these emotions and in turn how your thinking can play it's part in your day to day mood.
Maybe with practice you will be able to find some of your own positive statements to add to the list so that they will be more personal to you?
· I am ok
· I have achieved ….(this)……today
· I am a caring person
· I am a kind person
· I can get things wrong just like anybody else, but it’s ok.
· I don’t have to do everything on my list today
· I can learn from my mistakes to improve my life
· Does it really matter?
· I can do this – I will do this
· I can focus my mental energy on much more worthwhile challenges rather than worrying about the things I cannot change.
· I may not feel naturally positive all of the time – but I am trying to be more positive!
It is often easier to see what is going wrong in our lives rather than appreciating what is going right, so if you are thinking about finding some of your own 'Positive Self Talk', then start small - what one thing can you say today was positive? Maybe it was the fact you got up and dressed and went to work today? Maybe your child told you they love you, maybe someone appreciated a meal you cooked for them, maybe someone said thank you as you held a door open for them? or maybe you were able to say one nice thing about yourself today.
Practical Tip;
Get a jar, money box or basket and every-time you do, experience or say something positive, write it down on a piece of paper and place it in your vessel. At the end of the week (you can chose your time frame) read your pieces of paper back to yourself and remind yourself of all the positive things that have taken place.
We can be our own worst critics and if you've been unfortunate enough to experience some criticism from those around you, it can often impact on how you see yourself. But, we can't change what other people think, say and do, however we can change what we think about ourselves and what we say, think and do....
“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” ~Buddha
Remember an athlete didn't win a race by telling himself he can’t do it!
There is always research going on in the background about how we can improve our lives e.g the positive impact of exercise on depression, how positive meditation can help calm anxiety symptoms etc but I recently read a paper written by Barbara L fredrickson about positive thinking and its impact on your skills.
This research highlighted to me something I often see with clients;
They would come into my service with very negative views of themselves and their abilities to 'cope' with life's challenges describing to me events that seemed massive and overwhelming 'my life just seems to be falling apart' has been a phrase I have often heard and the common critical inner dialogues - "mental chatter" as I often refer to it as; saying things like 'I'm rubbish', 'I never get it right', 'why do I bother?'.
But as these clients start to explore themselves and their situations and they engage in the therapeutic process something changes, they start to view themselves in a more positive light - changing that common critical thinking with statements such as; 'I'll give it ago', 'I can do this', '5 years ago I achieved this so I can now too', with this new perspective - that's when they seem to be out there 'coping' with the challenges that life throws at them, achieving little by little, building their self-esteem, confidence and living a much more productive happy life.
Often if you’re feeling low or unmotivated then it can be difficult to find something positive to say about yourself – so here are a few positive statements you can read and try to help start to lift your mood;
Take a few minutes on your own and read through the list below – make a mental note of the ones that you don’t feel confident saying yet and the ones that although they may feel uncomfortable, you can perhaps find some truth in them and notice if there are any that feel ok to say now.
Choose one or two statements and spend 5 minutes saying them over and over to yourself either in your head or (if you are on your own!) try saying them out loud.
If you are confident in identifying your emotions and noticing the physical sensations that get provoked within your body when you experience an emotion then this is a great task to see how words alone can change these emotions and in turn how your thinking can play it's part in your day to day mood.
Maybe with practice you will be able to find some of your own positive statements to add to the list so that they will be more personal to you?
· I am ok
· I have achieved ….(this)……today
· I am a caring person
· I am a kind person
· I can get things wrong just like anybody else, but it’s ok.
· I don’t have to do everything on my list today
· I can learn from my mistakes to improve my life
· Does it really matter?
· I can do this – I will do this
· I can focus my mental energy on much more worthwhile challenges rather than worrying about the things I cannot change.
· I may not feel naturally positive all of the time – but I am trying to be more positive!
It is often easier to see what is going wrong in our lives rather than appreciating what is going right, so if you are thinking about finding some of your own 'Positive Self Talk', then start small - what one thing can you say today was positive? Maybe it was the fact you got up and dressed and went to work today? Maybe your child told you they love you, maybe someone appreciated a meal you cooked for them, maybe someone said thank you as you held a door open for them? or maybe you were able to say one nice thing about yourself today.
Practical Tip;
Get a jar, money box or basket and every-time you do, experience or say something positive, write it down on a piece of paper and place it in your vessel. At the end of the week (you can chose your time frame) read your pieces of paper back to yourself and remind yourself of all the positive things that have taken place.