Joanne Lindsay Counselling , Hypnotherapy and Holistic Therapy Service Based in Taunton, Somerset

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Applying it to me!

23/4/2013

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Everytime I learn a new skill, piece of theory or counselling intervention, I feel that the most important test of it is 'Can I apply it to me?'

I was asked by a client recently 'What training did I have to do to become a counsellor and what was it like doing that training?'

I explained that when I started training my mind set was 'I've been through some tough times, had some fantastic experiences, made some mistakes and had asked for help along the way - I want to learn how to help others overcome life obstacles'. Although I was prepared for 3 years of studying, placements and trying to remember how to put together and write an essay which I thought was going to be my biggest challenge (not my strongest skill!) nothing could have prepared me for 3 years of looking at myself, picking my own self apart and rebuilding 'me' - and then having to write about it in an essay!


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But do I regret it? absolutely not!. I never stop looking at myself, learning about myself and trying to improve the way I interact with my friends, family, clients and the public. Trying to understand why I react to things the way I do sometimes, learning to let go of resentments and situations I cannot change; Am I perfect - no!! because as life develops new obstacles get put in my way, which for me is another opportunity to learn some more and adapt if necessary.

I had a conversation with a friend yesterday about how important it is to continually evaluate your life plan and adapt and change in order to keep moving forward - it's when I stop and only see the barriers and what I can't do; then I get stuck, feel heavy with emotions of failure, frustration and get angry at myself and my situation; then it feels harder to move forward. Yet if I accept that something needs to change and my life plan needs to be adapted I'm more likely to succeed in what ever I am trying to achieve at the time or perhaps make it even better than I had imagined.


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So what have I changed and developed in me?

I've learn't to accept my inner child and nurture her and allow her to be upset and have developed some understanding around where that upset comes from.

I have accepted that at times I will feel anxious and that although it's a horrible feeling, it is the survival part of me and that those feelings will pass once the perceived threat has gone (Physical or emotional).

I have learnt to turn off or distract my 'mental chatter' allowing positive thoughts to outshine the negative ones.

I have found the beauty in the world...look around you...it's amazing what you have to be grateful for.

And I have learnt to be my own best friend!! accepted that I will not always get it right, but that life is about living and learning, it's not here to beat you up - but it will if you let it!

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Messy Cupboards!!?

17/4/2013

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Do you get fed up of being attacked by Tupperware every time you open a kitchen cupboard or never being able to find your favourite top in your wardrobe?

With the nights drawing out and bulbs starting to pop up over my garden - I'm starting to get that spring feeling and making lists of what I'll attack on my yearly spring clean - but if I was to ask you what would you spring clean in your life - what would it be?


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Although it's a tiresome task thinking about cleaning my cupboards out, organising them so I can find things easier and getting rid of all the tins and jars that have been lurking at the back and are now out of date - I know I'll feel much better for doing it. Yet the thought of spring cleaning my own life feels a little bit uncomfortable!

From the minute we are born (If not before?) we start to learn; We learn as a baby that by crying I'll get fed or my nappy will be changed - to learning if I act in certain ways I'll get rid of the emotions I don't like - "coping strategies".


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These coping strategies work at first so we often repeat them the next time we are faced with that emotion or situation e.g. drinking, self-harming, avoiding, ignoring or getting Angry with those we love, but often they turn out to cause more trouble and start to create their own vicious cycles.

So what Cycles would you like to unlearn, spring clean in order to improve the outcomes in your life? What actions or behaviours would you like to change and learn new "coping strategies" for.

Hope you have a happy and positive Springtime x 

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April 07th, 2013

7/4/2013

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    Joanne Lindsay
    dip couns MBACP 

    Counsellor and Psychotherapist

    www.joannelindsay-counselling.co.uk

    01823 210077

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