Everytime I learn a new skill, piece of theory or counselling intervention, I feel that the most important test of it is 'Can I apply it to me?'
I was asked by a client recently 'What training did I have to do to become a counsellor and what was it like doing that training?'
I explained that when I started training my mind set was 'I've been through some tough times, had some fantastic experiences, made some mistakes and had asked for help along the way - I want to learn how to help others overcome life obstacles'. Although I was prepared for 3 years of studying, placements and trying to remember how to put together and write an essay which I thought was going to be my biggest challenge (not my strongest skill!) nothing could have prepared me for 3 years of looking at myself, picking my own self apart and rebuilding 'me' - and then having to write about it in an essay!
I was asked by a client recently 'What training did I have to do to become a counsellor and what was it like doing that training?'
I explained that when I started training my mind set was 'I've been through some tough times, had some fantastic experiences, made some mistakes and had asked for help along the way - I want to learn how to help others overcome life obstacles'. Although I was prepared for 3 years of studying, placements and trying to remember how to put together and write an essay which I thought was going to be my biggest challenge (not my strongest skill!) nothing could have prepared me for 3 years of looking at myself, picking my own self apart and rebuilding 'me' - and then having to write about it in an essay!
But do I regret it? absolutely not!. I never stop looking at myself, learning about myself and trying to improve the way I interact with my friends, family, clients and the public. Trying to understand why I react to things the way I do sometimes, learning to let go of resentments and situations I cannot change; Am I perfect - no!! because as life develops new obstacles get put in my way, which for me is another opportunity to learn some more and adapt if necessary.
I had a conversation with a friend yesterday about how important it is to continually evaluate your life plan and adapt and change in order to keep moving forward - it's when I stop and only see the barriers and what I can't do; then I get stuck, feel heavy with emotions of failure, frustration and get angry at myself and my situation; then it feels harder to move forward. Yet if I accept that something needs to change and my life plan needs to be adapted I'm more likely to succeed in what ever I am trying to achieve at the time or perhaps make it even better than I had imagined.
I had a conversation with a friend yesterday about how important it is to continually evaluate your life plan and adapt and change in order to keep moving forward - it's when I stop and only see the barriers and what I can't do; then I get stuck, feel heavy with emotions of failure, frustration and get angry at myself and my situation; then it feels harder to move forward. Yet if I accept that something needs to change and my life plan needs to be adapted I'm more likely to succeed in what ever I am trying to achieve at the time or perhaps make it even better than I had imagined.
So what have I changed and developed in me?
I've learn't to accept my inner child and nurture her and allow her to be upset and have developed some understanding around where that upset comes from.
I have accepted that at times I will feel anxious and that although it's a horrible feeling, it is the survival part of me and that those feelings will pass once the perceived threat has gone (Physical or emotional).
I have learnt to turn off or distract my 'mental chatter' allowing positive thoughts to outshine the negative ones.
I have found the beauty in the world...look around you...it's amazing what you have to be grateful for.
And I have learnt to be my own best friend!! accepted that I will not always get it right, but that life is about living and learning, it's not here to beat you up - but it will if you let it!
I've learn't to accept my inner child and nurture her and allow her to be upset and have developed some understanding around where that upset comes from.
I have accepted that at times I will feel anxious and that although it's a horrible feeling, it is the survival part of me and that those feelings will pass once the perceived threat has gone (Physical or emotional).
I have learnt to turn off or distract my 'mental chatter' allowing positive thoughts to outshine the negative ones.
I have found the beauty in the world...look around you...it's amazing what you have to be grateful for.
And I have learnt to be my own best friend!! accepted that I will not always get it right, but that life is about living and learning, it's not here to beat you up - but it will if you let it!
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