With Halloween fast approaching the costumes are bought and the various parties are marked in my diary, but it has got me thinking about not just the holiday ghosts and ghouls, but the fears and terrors that people live with every day.
I have worked as a counsellor for a few years now and it never surprises me when even if I've been working with a client for sometime; that suddenly another story can unfold.
People shut and put up with so many things in their lives for many reasons including; in order to not upset the family home, because they can't see any other way out, because they don't deserve anything different - whatever the reason whilst they stay in their situation, they are internally being chewed up by their emotions and their thoughts surrounding the situation.
Take a look around you, look at your friends, family and Joe Blogg in the street - do they look truly happy - maybe?...
Nobody can truly know how another person is feeling and many people can put that brave face on and continue day to day as if nothing is happening. Until it rears it's ugly head in another way - ANGER, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, OCD, RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS, ADDICTION, LACK OF CONFIDENCE, LOSS OF DIRECTION and the list can continue.....
So what could be going on behind the scenes?? there are a huge variety of possible scenarios; but the following information has not only shocking statistics to show people can suffer a longtime in silence, but that it has huge costs on our government because of the repeated nature of the offences.
Child Sexual Abuse
This year has seen a number of historic Child Sexual Abuse cases brought to justice, where some of the people involved have lived with that fear, guilt and shame for 30 or 40 years or more and never told a soul.
I think about how brave those for want of a better word 'victims' must have been to put themselves in that spotlight after so much time only for many to judge whether they are telling the truth or not.
Some facts and figures about Child Sexual Abuse;
The NSPCC have published a number of statistics;
People shut and put up with so many things in their lives for many reasons including; in order to not upset the family home, because they can't see any other way out, because they don't deserve anything different - whatever the reason whilst they stay in their situation, they are internally being chewed up by their emotions and their thoughts surrounding the situation.
Take a look around you, look at your friends, family and Joe Blogg in the street - do they look truly happy - maybe?...
Nobody can truly know how another person is feeling and many people can put that brave face on and continue day to day as if nothing is happening. Until it rears it's ugly head in another way - ANGER, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, OCD, RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS, ADDICTION, LACK OF CONFIDENCE, LOSS OF DIRECTION and the list can continue.....
So what could be going on behind the scenes?? there are a huge variety of possible scenarios; but the following information has not only shocking statistics to show people can suffer a longtime in silence, but that it has huge costs on our government because of the repeated nature of the offences.
Child Sexual Abuse
This year has seen a number of historic Child Sexual Abuse cases brought to justice, where some of the people involved have lived with that fear, guilt and shame for 30 or 40 years or more and never told a soul.
I think about how brave those for want of a better word 'victims' must have been to put themselves in that spotlight after so much time only for many to judge whether they are telling the truth or not.
Some facts and figures about Child Sexual Abuse;
The NSPCC have published a number of statistics;
- Over 18,600 children and young people talked to ChildLine last year about sexual abuse.
- Child sexual abuse costs the UK £3.2bn a year.
- Over 90% of sexually abused children were abused by someone they knew.
- 1 in 20 children in the UK have been sexually abused.
- 1 in 3 children sexually abused by an adult did not tell anyone.
The silent killer - Domestic Abuse;
1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will be affected by domestic abuse at sometime in their life.
On average in the UK, two women are murdered each week and 30 men per year.
In addition, approximately 400 people commit suicide each year who have attended hospital for domestic abuse injuries in the previous six months, 200 of these attend hospital on the day they go on to commit suicide
Many see domestic abuse as a physical act of violence, this is not always the case, but can often become that way sooner or later.
Abuse comes in many forms, from taking control of somebody else's finances... being constantly critical and putting someone down... controlling what they do, who they see and when... forcing your spouse or partner to perform sexual acts or to have sex against their will...
1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will be affected by domestic abuse at sometime in their life.
On average in the UK, two women are murdered each week and 30 men per year.
In addition, approximately 400 people commit suicide each year who have attended hospital for domestic abuse injuries in the previous six months, 200 of these attend hospital on the day they go on to commit suicide
Many see domestic abuse as a physical act of violence, this is not always the case, but can often become that way sooner or later.
Abuse comes in many forms, from taking control of somebody else's finances... being constantly critical and putting someone down... controlling what they do, who they see and when... forcing your spouse or partner to perform sexual acts or to have sex against their will...
more facts and figures;
statistics gathered from www.lwa.org.uk
- It has been estimated that domestic abuse costs the public £23 billion per annum. This includes the cost to the criminal justice system, to the health service, to social care and to housing. It is widely accepted however that this figure is an under-estimate as there are so many costs that can not be measured.
- The Home Office estimates that each domestic abuse murder costs the country just over £1 million and totals £112 million per annum.
statistics gathered from www.lwa.org.uk
Rape
With reported rape and attempted rape in the uk on the increase (29% this last year) it is surprising how much of it still goes unreported. Again this can be from fear of being judged to be not telling the truth, horror stories of being told you encouraged it and because the act was never carried through with, there not being any evidence and so on...
For Women;
www.rapecrisis.org.uk reported that:
With reported rape and attempted rape in the uk on the increase (29% this last year) it is surprising how much of it still goes unreported. Again this can be from fear of being judged to be not telling the truth, horror stories of being told you encouraged it and because the act was never carried through with, there not being any evidence and so on...
For Women;
www.rapecrisis.org.uk reported that:
- Approximately 85,000 women are raped on average in England and Wales every year
- Over 400,000 women are sexually assaulted each year
- 1 in 5 women (aged 16 - 59) has experienced some form of sexual violence since the age of 16.
freephone helpline
0808 802 9999
12 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm
0808 802 9999
12 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm
For Men;
www.survivorsuk.org
About 3% of men — or 1 in 33 — have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime
Telephone helpline 08451221201
www.survivorsuk.org
About 3% of men — or 1 in 33 — have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime
Telephone helpline 08451221201
Whatever is hiding in your cupboard this Halloween, there are many resources for help out there.
For a free confidential chat to find out more about how I might be able to help you or to find out about other organisations that maybe able to help you.
For a free confidential chat to find out more about how I might be able to help you or to find out about other organisations that maybe able to help you.
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